Sunday, October 7, 2007

Live Blog: Dolphins @ Texans

10:30 AM: I decided to get to the game early and go tailgate. If you first enter the Red Lot of Reliant Stadium go directly to the left, and you will find the white tent next to the Miller Lite blow-up bottle. The food is ridiculously good and there are some of the nicest people you can meet.

12:00 PM: A fan at the tailgate told me some insight about last year's draft. Apparently the Texans drafted Mario Williams because of this:
- Reggie Bush wasn't going to sign. He wanted too much money, and his agent refused to sign with the Texans pre-draft. One thing you want to do if you have the number one pick is make sure that player is signed before draft day (See: Jamarcus Russell).
- The Texans were never going to take Vince Young. They said it was a possibility to please the UT fans in the Houston area.
- Mario Williams could be signed pre-draft without any hassle, and for 20 million dollars less than Reggie Bush would have started asking for.

12:01: With 12 seconds off the clock, Schaub goes for a bomb to Kevin Walter. Dolphins cornerback Will Allen molests Walter, and there is no flag. I'm going to throw my lap top across the room.

12:04: Did you notice that Ron Dayne is the football equivalent of Manu Ginobili? And by that I mean the falling down part. He gets the handoff, takes one step, and then falls. Touched or not. Where is Dominick Davis/Williams?

12:06: Schaub to Apostrophe Davis. 49-yard strike to the one yard line. Followed by Ron Dayne "falling" for three downs then finally scoring. 7-0 Texans.

12:20: False start keeps the Dolphins away. Field goal. 7-3. Trent Green ran for like 30 yards to get them close. I just a comment IMed of: "Trent Green! Its Trent Green. He is three years away from getting social security." Shout-out to D, Mike, Jason R, Touch, Simpson, Casie and whoever else is reading.

12:25: Remember a few weeks ago when I asked why wide receivers couldn't get interceptions when its not the quarterback's fault? Thanks Jeb Putzier.

12:27: Trent Green gets away with clipping, and nearly kills himself in the process. Travis Johnson then taunts Green's corpse, and gets a 15-yard taunting penalty. I don't want to "laugh", but I am. (Sidenote: Trent Green gets the fumble on his stats. Good play Trent.)

12:33: Is it 2006? Trent Green getting taken off in a stretcher? I swear this has happened before.

12:35: When I woke up today, I said to myself: Man I hope I get to see Cleo Lemon. And can we trade for Ronnie Brown? Im willing to give up Demarcus Faggins and Ron Dayne.

12:39: Ronnie Brown scores. 10-7 Dolphins. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

12:40: Trent Green suffered a concussion and will not return. Deja Vu.

12:46: Horrible play calling. Running back pitch/pass looking play on 3rd and 87. Im going to go find Mike Sherman in the bathroom. 12:22 left in the 2nd.

12:50: Texans defense hasn't allowed a 100-yard rusher in six-straight games, dating back to last season. Looks like Brown is going to end that.

1:01: Kevin Walter is pretty good........at replacing Jacoby Jones. No really, he is filling in nicely....at least he can get open.

1:02: Schaub fumbles after getting attacked from behind. That was the first Carr-esque looking play ive seen this year. Do the Texans know this is a regular season game?

1:09: 16-7 Dolphins. The only positive I have right now is that the defense isn't giving up TD's. We need to score before halftime. And we have 3:31 to do it.

1:10: Idea: Put Dexter Wynn at running back. Just try it. Hell, nothing else is working. Especially Ron "London Bridge" Dayne.

1:11: Every good play gets called back because of holding from the offensive line. And by offensive line I mean Chester Pitts. And by Chester Pitts I mean the guy who is on the cover of the Texans program this week.

1:18: Witch Hunt Time: Check Jason Taylor for 'roids.

1:19: Kris Brown is insane. 54-yard field goal. Longest in Texans history. Could that be the firecracker up the ass we needed?

1:23: 16-10 Dolphins. I'm going to go swallow bleach.

1:31: Sidenote: David Carr had to be taken off the field in the Panthers game. Sources say it was a strained hair follicle due to using the wrong conditioner.

1:39: CBS just showed the stat that the Dolphins haven't scored on their first four possessions since December of 2003....until this game. Then, C.C. Brown intercepted the ball, so I out the razor blade down.

1:46: I have slowed down I know. But I am in shock we are losing. 16-13 after a Kris Brown field goal. A colleague of mine (Not really colleague, but just a guy sitting next to me....I have just wanted to always say that) agrees that Kubiak is calling way too conservative of a game. Stop the Dayne B.S. and throw the ball. Just because Andre version 1 is hurt doesn't mean we can't stretch the defense. Apostrophe Davis can do the same things.

1:55: Doop Doop Doop Bah Doop Doop Doop Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doop Dah Doop Doo Doo. Super Mario.

1:58: I love Amobi Okoye. Going to be a bust eh? Well bust this. (I know you can't see what I am doing because this is being read not seen, but pretend.)

2:06: I am ready to say it. Kris Brown might be the greatest field goal kicker I have ever seen. Two...yes TWO 54-yard field goals in one game.

2:09: A few things. 1. Ronnie Brown is the first back to get over 100 yards on the Texans defense this season. He is good. 2. Kris Brown hit over 800 points with that field goal, and its the first time he has hit two 50-plus field goals in one game. My friend Mike just pointed out "Whoever scores the most points is going to win the game." Brilliant.

2:19: Feely hits another field goal. 19-16 Dolphins. I wished for a kicker battle. Screw all of this "touchdown" nonsense. Shoutout to Gina.

2:27: Chester Pitts must have been listening to "You really gotta hold on me" on the way to the game.

2:31: Why can't we have a Green Bay-style only passing offense? We have Matt Schaub! When does he NOT find a man open? He even hits open people with Chester Pitts on the O-Line.

2:36: Kris Brown. Again. 19-19. Im going to ask him to come home with me tonight.

2:58: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KRIS BROWN! IM HYPERVENTILATING! Texans win 22-19!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Like you've said previously, that shouldn't be a stat against the QB. That was obviously the receiver's fault... OH MY GOD, Trent's social security is closer than we thought.

Anonymous said...

Too soon?... Honestly, I hope he's ok.

roachfood said...

kris brown is my hero today. i recall a game he kicked 5 field goals and the texans lost 16-15. how sad. that was in '05 tho.

wtb some defense on this miami drive please.

roachfood said...

HOLY! CRAP!

FIFTY SEVEN?!?

What. is. this. penalty!?

roachfood said...

oh and what was with kubiak's lackluster reaction to the go ahead field goal? weak.

this is sklar btw.

ricky_anderson said...

i just wanted to say kris brown's name...